Two and Two

Today’s post will be short and sweet.

The PET scan results showed significant shrinkage in the tumors and I am cleared for surgery on March 4 – in just 2 weeks and 2 days (2 and 2)! The severity of the surgery depends on many things, including variables to be determined once they have started the surgery. So I’m letting go of my need to control, and trying hard to go with the flow.

I’m just now starting to crawl my way out of the intense last chemo round only fifteen days ago, and I’ve got 2 and 2 to strengthen my body and mind for surgery. It’s so exciting to be done with chemo and to know that each day will be an improvement from the day before. What a relief. That was hands down the hardest sixteen weeks of my life!

At the same time, it is challenging to face all that has to be done, caught up, and prepared before surgery when I’m just beginning to feel 1/2 way normal, really more like 1/3 normal. The more “normal” I look, the more is expected of me – including self imposed pressure – when inside I’m no where near normal.

I’m depleted, weary and weak. Yet life calls, and how grateful I am for this beautiful life. It’s a delicate balancing act, and some days the scales feel out of balance. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Thanks for reading. More to come soon…

5 Replies to “CHEMO DAY 111 (LAST ROUND DAY 15)”

  1. Sruti Raghavan says:

    This is such good news, Beven! So excited that things are moving forward. Thinking of you often and hoping that you are weathering the ice/snow storm ok on top of everything else.

  2. Nancy Hiser says:

    Beven, Now that this stage is history, I hope you will treat yourself well—just as tenderly and compassionately as you would your own best friend in identical circumstances. Nourish yourself as much as you can to wrap up this traumatic time. I hope the feeling better increases every hour of every day and you can wallow in that. Come on blue skies!! Hugs, Nancy

  3. Matthew Ross says:

    You are so inspiring Beven!!! We are all pulling for you. You still got this…just a litte bit more to go!

  4. SuePorter says:

    HUGE hugs to you, Beven. You’re so brave and so amazing. Let go of the things you can, which I’m sure isn’t a easy for you. Yet somehow all that other stuff is frivolous compared to your health and well-being. – You rock. – Love and Sparkles to you – Sue

  5. Lou Grogan says:

    Good job-think of you often

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