Two and Two
Today’s post will be short and sweet.
The PET scan results showed significant shrinkage in the tumors and I am cleared for surgery on March 4 – in just 2 weeks and 2 days (2 and 2)! The severity of the surgery depends on many things, including variables to be determined once they have started the surgery. So I’m letting go of my need to control, and trying hard to go with the flow.
I’m just now starting to crawl my way out of the intense last chemo round only fifteen days ago, and I’ve got 2 and 2 to strengthen my body and mind for surgery. It’s so exciting to be done with chemo and to know that each day will be an improvement from the day before. What a relief. That was hands down the hardest sixteen weeks of my life!
At the same time, it is challenging to face all that has to be done, caught up, and prepared before surgery when I’m just beginning to feel 1/2 way normal, really more like 1/3 normal. The more “normal” I look, the more is expected of me – including self imposed pressure – when inside I’m no where near normal.
I’m depleted, weary and weak. Yet life calls, and how grateful I am for this beautiful life. It’s a delicate balancing act, and some days the scales feel out of balance. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.
That’s all I’ve got for now. Thanks for reading. More to come soon…