I HAVE NEVER BEEN A CAT PERSON
To be fair, it is true that the one cat we have left in our household – Lemi – is a cat that I brought into the relationship in the early days over 15 years ago after accidentally falling in “kitten-love”. But, also true is my very deep rooted and long standing repulsion of cat urine and… well… cat poop, to be frank. Another silver lining to Chemo…I am not allowed to go anywhere near the litter box. Stay with me, I share this for a reason.
The last several days have been arduous. Round 2 of the chemo has taken a real toll on my body. The fatigue is out of hand, the bone pain is constant, and the hair loss is continuous, but slow as molasses. I work internally to balance letting go and allowing my self to heal, while also processing the swirling soup of emotions that accompany me on this journey. And yet, life doesn’t stop because of cancer, or chemo.
The pressures of real life and its effect on me and the people in my life don’t stop because I have cancer. Yes, I have stepped back, but I haven’t jumped off a cliff. I’m still very much here and trying my best to balance healing, family and work. Dylan refers to this balancing act attempt as “doing too much”. And, while I acknowledge he’s accurate in saying so, I prefer to call it “doing what needs to be done”. Semantics.
Anyhow, last night, after a long day of work, my body and brain ready to retire, I mustered up just enough energy to take a shower before bed. To wash the pain and exhaustion – and likely a lot of hair – down the drain for the day. I gathered a towel and pajamas and set off downstairs to shower. As I walked into the the bathroom, my nose immediately sensed that something was not right. I flipped on the light switch. Not right indeed! The before mentioned only remaining cat in our household had thrown up all over the bathroom floor and, even worse, pooped in the bathtub! How rude…A dog would never do that.
So, I closed the door, turned right around, marched back up the stairs and informed Dylan that his caretaking duties were sadly not done for the night. Without hesitation he rose from bed to tackle the destruction left by the cat. No complaining. Just swift efficient action. Oh, my dear Dylan. He keeps showing up, day after day, hour after hour, doing any and everything needed to keep me from “doing too much”.
So as I wrap up a Day 22 of Chemo, Day 8 of Round 2, I’m hopeful for renewed energy. What I’m certain of is I will remain filled with gratitude for Dylan and all of the people who Love and surround me with support.
Thanks again for joining me. More to come soon.